The Mama Workshop

Replacing Yelling with Love {& What It Teaches Kids}

It’s so much easier to be kind and loving when the kiddos are behaving.

They give me a hug. I want to give a hug back. They want to cuddle. My heart melts. They break a lamp.  I yell and become monster mom.

Please note: I am not always monster mom. But, she comes out in some trying moments. #keepingitreal

It’s in those moments of tantrums and deliberate disobedience that I have to exercise love and kindness.

Why?

My kiddos are toddlers. They’re learning how to behave. I’m an adult. They look to me as an example of how to behave.

If I yell because they frustrated me, what am I teaching them? I’m teaching them that it’s okay to yell when someone upsets you.

How many times have I told my son, “don’t yell at sister like that,” after she took his favorite hot wheel? Countless times. Probably a bazillion times. So, if my son decides it’s a great idea to draw on the couch with a sharpie or cause some sort of toddler tornado, should I yell? No. Does he need discipline? Yes. But, how would I want to be treated if I made a mistake?Continue Reading…

A Kiss a Day Keeps Worry Away

My son comes up to me with scrapes and bruises almost daily.  Sometimes, he’s crying for me to give them a kiss. Sometimes, he just wants to show me his ow-ies like it’s a prize he just won.

But, when it’s the scrapes and bruises that hurt, he comes straight to me with out-stretched arms wanting the comfort of his mama.

I try not to react saying, “Oh my goodness! Are you okay? That looks like it hurts.” He’s coming to me for comfort. So, if I react in a way that reinforces his discomfort, he is going to continue to cry (and possibly cry about it throughout the day).

So, instead I give him a hug and ask what happened. He tells me his story through his tears. When he’s done, I give him a kiss on his cheek and tell him, “Son, you are so brave and strong. Let’s clean your ow-ie. It’ll still hurt for only a little bit; but, then it won’t bother you anymore.” And he goes on his merry way playing again like nothing happened.

Why? Because, “worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word lifts a person up,” (Proverbs 12:25). I try to encourage my son in any situation (good or bad). Every moment is a teachable moment. After all, my son is in my life to learn about life and become who he was born to be.

Isn’t this how my relationship is suppose to be with God? Oh yes, yes and yes.

Every worry. Every hurt. Every happy moment. I should run to my father with open arms and share it with him.

Continue Reading…