Replacing Yelling with Love {& What It Teaches Kids}

It’s so much easier to be kind and loving when the kiddos are behaving.

They give me a hug. I want to give a hug back. They want to cuddle. My heart melts. They break a lamp.  I yell and become monster mom.

Please note: I am not always monster mom. But, she comes out in some trying moments. #keepingitreal

It’s in those moments of tantrums and deliberate disobedience that I have to exercise love and kindness.

Why?

My kiddos are toddlers. They’re learning how to behave. I’m an adult. They look to me as an example of how to behave.

If I yell because they frustrated me, what am I teaching them? I’m teaching them that it’s okay to yell when someone upsets you.

How many times have I told my son, “don’t yell at sister like that,” after she took his favorite hot wheel? Countless times. Probably a bazillion times. So, if my son decides it’s a great idea to draw on the couch with a sharpie or cause some sort of toddler tornado, should I yell? No. Does he need discipline? Yes. But, how would I want to be treated if I made a mistake?

  1. Be made aware of my mistake. I might not know I was doing anything wrong.
  2. Be told why it’s wrong. I need to know why it’s wrong, so when faced with something similar in the future, I don’t make it again.
  3. Be told what I can do to fix the mistake and/or how I can do better next time.

If this is how I want to be treated, I should treat my kiddos that way too.

Love

Just because I pushed those babies out, doesn’t give me the right to disrespect them. I’m suppose to be teaching them to be awesome adults. If I have a bazillion outbursts of anger, most likely my kiddos are going to do the same. If I approach situations in love, my kiddos will learn to do the same. Don’t I want my kids to be loving? Yes. So, I need to be loving. I need to teach my kids that it’s difficult to love in hard, trying situations, but it’s totally possible. And I need to teach them by example.

Am I going to make mistakes along the way during my don’t-yell-when-I’m-frustrated journey? OH YES I AM. I’m a human being. So, I’m full of mistakes. It’s by God’s Grace I’m made new each day. I have a fresh start every morning (I need to teach my kiddos that too).

Even though I make mistakes, I can get back up and try again. I don’t need to let those mistakes take a tight grip on me and control my day/week/month/year/life. NO. That’s exactly what the devil wants. He wants to tear me down and tell me I’m not good enough because of my mistakes.

Satan. Not today!

I will let go of my mistakes by confessing them and giving them to God. Then, I’ll ask for Grace, not only from God, but also from my kids (set an example, right?!). And start fresh.


Reflection

  1. Treat my kids the way I want to be treated (Luke 6:31).
  2. Set a positive example in moments of frustration.
  3. Teach my kiddos about God’s Grace and the power of prayer.

Verses

“For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Prayer

Thank you God for giving your only son to die for our sins. That’s the ultimate sacrifice. Me sacrificing getting angry in moments of frustration is so small compared to Yours. You chose me to raise my kids. You chose me as their example. Help me become that great example. Give me the strength to show love in those moments that are so easy to show anger. Make me into the mom you need me to be for my kiddos to become who you need them to be. Fill my heart with Your love so that my heart overflows and fills my kiddos’ hearts. Amen.

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Comments

  1. says

    Oh Lu this is beautiful and it really spoke to my heart today. I need to work on my tone for sure and this prayer and verses gave me huge inspiration to do so. Thank you so much for being so authentic!!!

    • says

      You’re welcome Abigail! I know that I am never alone in my struggles. So, by sharing them, I know whole-heartedly it’s going to help others. Thank you so much for reading my post! I really appreciate it.

  2. says

    Lu, this is a great post and a fantastic reminder! I know I need to be better about not yelling in moments of frustration, and I am going to keep these bible verses and prayer in mind when I am tempted to yell.

  3. says

    I catch myself guilty of this ALL the time, Lu. And I can tell the difference in my boys when I am slower to speak and more loving towards them.
    We are their primary role models as they grow so lets shower our babies with His love and grace. I really needed this reminder 😉

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